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setting bounderies

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Offline xxxchoholic Rai ♥

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on: June 05, 2013, 10:52:16 PM
in a relationship sometimes it really needs

some boundaries and limitations, so ang tanong

when do you draw the line of boundaries, how do you set these boundaries

and what are these boundaries can you share something about it   
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setting bounderies
« on: June 05, 2013, 10:52:16 PM »

Offline ¿m☺ÿ

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Reply #1 on: June 05, 2013, 11:15:12 PM
medyo malawak ang tinatawag na boundaries, kasi it will range from physical, emotional to spiritual level.... sa physical, siyempre yung mga tinatawag na contact; emotional yung mga do's and don'ts na pinag-uusapan; at sa spiritual yung paniniwala wether kung ito ay tungkol sa religion o sariling prinsipyo.... to set it, syempre both parties should talk to each other in agreement para sa limitations bago pa man magsimula ang relasyon, hindi yung ongoing na ang relationship para malinaw na kung sino man ang lumampas sa boundaries bahala na yung isa ang magpataw ng parusa(anuman yun na pwedeng maging break-up) so a certain rules will be set to follow.... kaya lang most of the time, boundaries being overrun by feelings...in reality kasi rules can always be broken if both parties broke it or agreed to break it.... kapag emotion na kasi ang nag-overcome sa dalawa....its really hard to think rationally kaya kahit ang boundaries ay hindi na-overrun their will always be a danger of a failure relationship....
and one more thing, rules and limitation tends to make the relationship boring and will result again into failure relationship.. so i say, if someone really want to be in a relationship, she/he should be ready kasi relationship are for matured person not for kids bakit kamo, kasi it is not a game na kapag sinabi mong ayaw mo na, hindi yun ganun kadali depende kung gaano kalalim ang inabot ng relationship....napahaba yata sagot ko ah...


Offline xxxchoholic Rai ♥

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Reply #2 on: June 05, 2013, 11:24:23 PM
medyo malawak ang tinatawag na boundaries, kasi it will range from physical, emotional to spiritual level.... sa physical, siyempre yung mga tinatawag na contact; emotional yung mga do's and don'ts na pinag-uusapan; at sa spiritual yung paniniwala wether kung ito ay tungkol sa religion o sariling prinsipyo.... to set it, syempre both parties should talk to each other in agreement para sa limitations bago pa man magsimula ang relasyon, hindi yung ongoing na ang relationship para malinaw na kung sino man ang lumampas sa boundaries bahala na yung isa ang magpataw ng parusa(anuman yun na pwedeng maging break-up) so a certain rules will be set to follow.... kaya lang most of the time, boundaries being overrun by feelings...in reality kasi rules can always be broken if both parties broke it or agreed to break it.... kapag emotion na kasi ang nag-overcome sa dalawa....its really hard to think rationally kaya kahit ang boundaries ay hindi na-overrun their will always be a danger of a failure relationship....
and one more thing, rules and limitation tends to make the relationship boring and will result again into failure relationship.. so i say, if someone really want to be in a relationship, she/he should be ready kasi relationship are for matured person not for kids bakit kamo, kasi it is not a game na kapag sinabi mong ayaw mo na, hindi yun ganun kadali depende kung gaano kalalim ang inabot ng relationship....napahaba yata sagot ko ah...
ayos lang yan sir

talagang madami talaga ang klase boundaries sa isang relasyon

pero talagang minsan kailangan naman ito di ba?
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I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave, you will finally understand, why storms are named after people


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Re: setting bounderies
« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2013, 11:24:23 PM »

Offline ¿m☺ÿ

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Reply #3 on: June 05, 2013, 11:42:32 PM
ayos lang yan sir

talagang madami talaga ang klase boundaries sa isang relasyon

pero talagang minsan kailangan naman ito di ba?

kailangan siya kung hindi ka handa sa isang relationship, ang relationship kasi parang isang sugal, the higher you bet the higher you win kung mananalo ka, kasi kung hindi malaki talaga ang matatalo..... at ang relationship para kang bumili ng bagong gamit, kahit mahal siya hindi mo kaagad makikita ang sira kung hindi mo siya laging gagamitin at kapag nakita mo ang sira minsan huli na, hindi na pwedeng isuli..... ang kailangan talaga, hindi limitation kundi awareness, and self control.


Offline xxxchoholic Rai ♥

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Reply #4 on: June 05, 2013, 11:52:42 PM
siyempre minsan dapat may space ka rin talaga

well more applicable ito sa babae talaga eh pero both ways din siya di ba?
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Re: setting bounderies
« Reply #4 on: June 05, 2013, 11:52:42 PM »

Offline fayt

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Reply #5 on: June 06, 2013, 12:14:37 AM
Setting bounderies?

This will defend on 2 aspects of bounderies

Poaitive bounderies. Eto yun bounderies kapag kayo nagmamahalan at okay ang relationship. Mean, wala pa away sa inyo

The only bounderies we can set in aspect is when it comes to relationship is in physical aspect. Kahit kasi napaka okay ang relationship natin, our partner dapat pa rin nirerespeto nila ang tinatawag na private space natin. Kahit na nakailan six na tayo sa mga partner natin, still we have to respect ang partner natin physically. E.g. kapag magbibihis sya, we have to wait sa labas ng room para makapagbihis. Hindi magbibihis sya and tayo nasa loob lang at pinapanood sya magbihis. Another example naman, if we want to show affection sa partner mo. Hindi pede kahit  sa saan  yayakapin mo sya at hahalikan dapat doom kayo sa lugar kung saan kayo lang o dun sa place kung sa comfortable yun kapartner natin para hindi mapahiya ang kapartner natin sa ibang tao..

Kaya ko sinabi physical side lang dahil hindi naman natin dapat ilimit o mag set bounderies with our emotions kapag mahal natin ang kapartner. Kumbaga, magmahal na ng wagas.


Negative Bounderies. Eto ang bounderies kapag naman kayo nag aaway o may tampuhan kayo ni bfgf...

Sa aspect na to, we have to set bounderies in physical and emotional.

Physical? We have to set bounderies kung gaano tayo sasaktan physically kapag nag aaway kayo ni partner. Dapat malimitihan to sa simpleng sampal kapag masakit ang nagawa partner mo or etc. Hindi natin syempre hayaan yun partner natin saktan tayo todo physically like suntukin o upakan. Wag din naman masyado ang babae na ittreat nila na hayop yun lalake by hammering us with any weapon you had.

Emotional? Dapat limitahan kung hanggan saan tayo sinasaktan emotionally. E.g. sobrang sakit malaman na may iba ang kapartner natin pero tinatanggap lang natin. Sa ganitong aspect, we dont have to suffer ourselves at umiyak na lang tayo ng umiyak at yun kapartner natin nagpapakasaya. We have to set kung gaano kasakit ang maramdaman natin para imaintain o igive up ang relationship natin.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

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« Last Edit: June 07, 2013, 06:45:05 AM by fayt »
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Reply #6 on: June 06, 2013, 12:24:22 AM
para sa akin kasi hindi naman kelangan ng boundaries and limitations eh... give and take lang yan, respect each other tsaka sempre tiwala parin.. kung mahal nyo naman ang isat isa, hindi naman kayo gagawa ng bagay na ikakasama or magiging dahilan ng break up niyo... ayaw ko ng boundaries and limitations sa relationship... basta importante, alam naming dalawa ang bawal at hindi, magtitiwala kami sa isat isa... yun lang yun... mahirap kasi mag set ng boundaries or limitations eh, parang binibigyan mo lang siya ng dahilan para ma curious ang bawat isa... ang tao kasi pag alam nilang bawal ang ganito, bawal ang ganyan mas na eexcite nilang gawin yun... lol kaya mas ok ng walang boundaties basta alam mo lang ang limits mo ano man ang iyong ginagawa....


thats all thank you...
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Offline ¿m☺ÿ

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Reply #7 on: June 06, 2013, 12:31:35 AM
siyempre minsan dapat may space ka rin talaga

well more applicable ito sa babae talaga eh pero both ways din siya di ba?

yea, you're right more on to protect ang babae dito but boundaries kasi most of the time restrict progress sa relationship... parang mayroon kang tali sa leeg na kapag gumalaw ka e masasakal ka.... ang result you really can not open up fully sa relationship....


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Reply #8 on: June 06, 2013, 12:36:39 AM
para sa akin kasi hindi naman kelangan ng boundaries and limitations eh... give and take lang yan, respect each other tsaka sempre tiwala parin.. kung mahal nyo naman ang isat isa, hindi naman kayo gagawa ng bagay na ikakasama or magiging dahilan ng break up niyo... ayaw ko ng boundaries and limitations sa relationship... basta importante, alam naming dalawa ang bawal at hindi, magtitiwala kami sa isat isa... yun lang yun... mahirap kasi mag set ng boundaries or limitations eh, parang binibigyan mo lang siya ng dahilan para ma curious ang bawat isa... ang tao kasi pag alam nilang bawal ang ganito, bawal ang ganyan mas na eexcite nilang gawin yun... lol kaya mas ok ng walang boundaties basta alam mo lang ang limits mo ano man ang iyong ginagawa....


thats all thank you...

totally agree with you sir... kaya mas maganda talaga ang walang limitation.... kasi setting boundaries means lack of trust in a way... na hindi naman talaga natin masisisi ang mga babae kasi its a way to protect them....


Offline xxxchoholic Rai ♥

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Reply #9 on: June 06, 2013, 12:53:48 AM
well sa boys kasi walang mawawala eh kaya ayos lang poh sa inyo

pero porket may boundary na eh it doesn't mean wala nag trust

meron lang talaga yun mga taong ayaw pakialaman ang isang bagay sa kanila eh
Do not fall in love with people like me.
I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave, you will finally understand, why storms are named after people


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Reply #10 on: June 06, 2013, 12:58:44 AM
totally agree with you sir... kaya mas maganda talaga ang walang limitation.... kasi setting boundaries means lack of trust in a way... na hindi naman talaga natin masisisi ang mga babae kasi its a way to protect them....

para sa akin kasi bro pag may limitations parang way na yun ng pagsakal eh... so ayaw kong masakal si gf sa akin, gusto ko go siya kung san niya gusto basta wag lang siyang gagawa ng bagay na ikakasira namin... Masarap kasi sa pakirandam yung alam ng gf mo na nagtitiwala ka ng husto sa kanya....

well sa boys kasi walang mawawala eh kaya ayos lang poh sa inyo

pero porket may boundary na eh it doesn't mean wala nag trust

meron lang talaga yun mga taong ayaw pakialaman ang isang bagay sa kanila eh

dependi rin naman yan rai, hindi lang sa boys... pati sa girls meron ding ganyan....
Success seems to be connected with action.
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Offline xxxchoholic Rai ♥

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Reply #11 on: June 06, 2013, 01:05:38 AM
well meron din sa girls poh pero

ang point eh lahat naman nangangailangan din ng sariling space at privacy

so kailangan din ng boundary eh
Do not fall in love with people like me.
I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave, you will finally understand, why storms are named after people


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Reply #12 on: June 06, 2013, 01:10:38 AM
well meron din sa girls poh pero

ang point eh lahat naman nangangailangan din ng sariling space at privacy

so kailangan din ng boundary eh

yup totoo yan... agree ako jan... cguro a lil bit of boundaries lang, hindi naman talaga yung talagang boundaries na kelangan pang iset or pag usapan....
Success seems to be connected with action.
Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they didn't quit...!


Offline xxxchoholic Rai ♥

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Reply #13 on: June 06, 2013, 01:14:56 AM
well example sir imbutidoy ikaw

gusto mo ba na makita ng gf mo yun mga pinopost mo dito?

di ba ayaw mo rin lang hahaha
Do not fall in love with people like me.
I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave, you will finally understand, why storms are named after people


Offline dere'k ™

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Reply #14 on: June 06, 2013, 01:17:44 AM
well example sir imbutidoy ikaw

gusto mo ba na makita ng gf mo yun mga pinopost mo dito?

di ba ayaw mo rin lang hahaha

well ms samurai, kung may gf ako never mo naman akong makikitang mag popost ng ganyan.... nyahahaha... cguro in-ienjoy ko lang muna ngayon ang pagiging certified single ko... hahaha

ps : imbudo po, hindi imbutido or imbudoy...

ps ulit : tseeeeeee tseeee
Success seems to be connected with action.
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Re: setting bounderies
« Reply #14 on: June 06, 2013, 01:17:44 AM »

 


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