Do you find yourself compulsive eating, binge
eating, or eating when you're not really hungry?
Have you been on and off diets and feeling
frustrated? An imbalance with food indicates
that things are out of balance in your life.
What is out of balance for you? Read through
some of these steps and see if you can identify
with any of them. Identify one small thing you
can do this week to begin to restore balance in
your life.
1. Break free of scarcity mentality and black and
white thinking .
Do you find yourself fearing that there won't
be enough for you? Have you conditioned
yourself to feel deprived by yo-yo dieting? Do
you maintain a scarcity mentality for yourself
by not keeping enough gas in the car, or buying
the cheaper ___ when you could afford a
slightly nicer one? Do you buy into the
mentality that you're somehow flawed or
undeserving? These are all signs of black and
white thinking and living with the scarcity
mentality.
The scarcity mentality will keep you feeling
anxious, deprived, and hungry for more! These can
all be triggers for compulsive eating. An
abundance mentality assures you that you are
enough and that there will be enough for you.
Of course, this is a very complex process. To
begin with, start by noticing when you're in the
trap of black and white thinking. If yes, check
in with yourself and identify what you really
need. What is true? You can adjust your
behaviors to create abundance around you. For
example, keeping gas in your car, cash in your
wallet, a variety of groceries in the refrigerator,
and a variety of clothes that fit comfortably in
your closet.
2. Practice self-compassion.
Believe it or not, many other people feel
exactly the same way you do. We're all in this
together. Each one of us has self-doubt, worry,
and a longing to be accepted and understood.
It's OK. You're OK. Beating yourself up does
nothing but ultimately lead to shame, which
can be a powerful trigger for overeating.
Rather, focus on compassion. Compassion does
not necessarily mean that you're "off the
hook" (for those of you who are afraid of not
motivating yourself with the drill sergeant).
Compassion simply means that you understand.
You empathize. You get it. It makes sense that
you feel a certain way given your unique
circumstances. Self-compassion involves: 1)
acknowledging your pain in a gentle and
understanding way, 2) recognizing that you're
not alone in your struggles, and 3) observing
your pain without judging or suppressing it.
3. Watch out for the Inner Critic!
Along the same lines as practicing self-
compassion is to watch out for your Inner
Critic. Unchecked, your inner critic can
disconnect you from yourself depleting your
energy and concentration, destroying confidence
and denying experiences of joy, satisfaction, or
pleasure. This can lead to imbalance, anxiety,
depression, and compulsive eating.
- Recognize the inner critic in statements such
as, "you are too... ", "you always... ", "you
never... ", "you should... ".
- Ask yourself if this statement would be
appropriate to say to a child, or would it sound
abusive?
- Step back into mindfulness of the present
moment. This is where truth lies. Check in with
your body sensations. Connect with your
physical self, pay attention to your breathing,
and feel yourself grounded in your seat with
your feet on the floor. Notice the emotions that
are present. Be curious about what is
happening.
- What events, actions, or physical or emotional
sensations triggered the Inner Critic? Separate
what is objectively true from assumptions of
the Inner Critic. For example, "I ate dessert
and now I am feeling very full." Delete
anything afterwards, such as, "I'm so stupid. I
can't get anything right."
- Ask yourself what you need and nourish
yourself if you can.
4. A ccept emotions vs. avoiding them.
Tune in and slow down to identify your
feelings whether before or after you've reacted
to them. Oftentimes, we're driven to move
away from uncomfortable feelings with
whatever strategies we can, which includes
numbing them with food. This creates a build
up of intensity that either blows up or come
out sideways in the form of increased appetite
or physical symptoms such as anxiety,
migraines, or illnesses. When emotions haven't
been repressed, their lifecycle is rather short,
lasting about two minutes. When we can
observe and compassionately accept our
emotions rather than repress and avoid them,
we can find peace and comfort. They dissipate
and you are restored to a balanced state.
5. Honor your hunger and fullness and eat foods
that satisfy you.
Honoring your body's needs keeps you from
feeling deprived and triggering the voracious
appetite of primal hunger. Recognize whether
you have meal or snack hunger and feed
yourself accordingly. Check in and ask yourself,
what am I really hungry for? Is it salty, sweet,
cold, warm, crunchy, creamy, smooth? Find
foods that are a match with your physical
hunger so that you feel satisfied. Know which
foods keep you feeling full longer than others.
If you're feeling tired or sluggish after eating,
you may have eaten past fullness or eaten
foods that were imbalanced. You should still
have energy after eating a meal.
6. Meet your basic needs.
Sometimes we hunger for something that isn't
related to food. That can be an indication that
our basic needs aren't being met. Here's a list
of some of our basic needs, check in with
yourself honestly to see how you're doing in
each area:
- Meaning and purpose
- Autonomy (independence)
- Safety
- Empathy
- Sustenance (food, nourishment for mind,
body, and spirit)
- Creativity
- Community
- Love
- Rest/Relax/Play
7. Move your body in a respectful way. Connect
with your body.
When we move our bodies, we're more
connected and in tune with our bodies. This
does not mean you have to punish your body.
Experiment with different ways of moving your
body and discover what feels right for you.
Stretch, dance in your living room, walk your
dog. For this week, make a commitment to try
just 5 minutes of movement for as many days
as you like. Keep in simple.
8. Connect outside of yourself .
This can include connecting with others,
nature, animals, children, the elderly,
spirituality, or your community. Connection is
tied to our basic needs and without it we might
feel a deep loneliness or emptiness inside.
Connecting to anything outside yourself counts.
This can include growing something in a
garden, adopting a pet, volunteering in your
community, or trying a new activity.
9. Identify activities that give you a sense of
purpose .
Finding purpose doesn't necessarily mean
finding some big, elusive, meaningful thing.
Purpose exists in everything we do. Find out
what matters to you. Take time to consider
truly what your deepest values are. What do
you want your life to stand for? Consider all
areas of your life: friends, family, career,
health, leisure and so forth. Once you've
identified what really matters most to you
evaluate your typical day. What activities
support these values? Identify them and choose
to have an attitude of purpose (versus
resentment) next time you engage in these
activities. If much of your day is spent on
activities that don't support your values, it's
time to reevaluate! How can you incorporate
one small thing to support your values?
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