Post by: lovemarie on September 03, 2014, 05:52:22 PM
Relationships are a beautiful part of life. Whether they are romantic or just friendly, connecting with another human being is undoubtedly one of the best experiences that life has to offer. Within relationships, as is the case with so many other things in life, change is inevitable. I doubt that there are very many of us, if any, that have maintained the exact same partner and/or core group of friends throughout the vast majority of our lives.
Despite the seemingly natural turnover, what is it about certain relationships that makes them outlast many others? I’ve come up with 8 signs that I think are a great signal that a particular relationship is worth keeping, but be sure to pay attention to the last one I mention, since it alone can override all of the other points, and in my opinion it’s the most important.
1. YOU ARE TRULY YOURSELF
There are many people that find a lot of value in the idea of compromise, but when it comes to giving up elements of yourself to please or maintain a relationship that it is very healthy. The best, and often longest lasting relationships are those in which both parties can effortlessly be themselves without being faced by or fearing judgement, ridicule or a pressure to change. We all know when we are being fake, it’s therefore up to us to first see why we are being fake and then decide whether or not our true self belongs in this relationship.
2. CELEBRATION OVER COMPARISON
The best relationships are those in which ego-based comparisons are cast aside and are replaced by a genuine happiness for the accomplishments of each other. Rather than putting up a face that shows your content for the other when they get their dream job or land a hot date, the best relationships are those in which you actually feel happy for them.
3. YOU LIFT EACH OTHER UP
Although a lot of “comfort” can be found in mutually wallowing in a particular experience (such as complaining) or behaviour (such as drinking), the most valuable relationships are those in which each individual helps the other rise from any hardship. This help can come in the form of truly listening, providing reminders or an assortment of other ways, but no matter how it comes it always does everything it can to ensure that the other person never gets caught in an ongoing unhealthy state. Even though the action of change needs to ultimately come from the person caught in it, the most valuable relationship partners remind them of, and help them find that power.
4. DIFFERENCES AREN'T A DEAL BREAKER
Many relationships are built off of similarities and for obvious reasons. It would be much easier for me to find common ground, interests and compatibility with someone who like myself enjoyed playing sports, creating films and public speaking than it would for me to do the same with someone who enjoyed staying indoors, painting and scrap booking. Despite this common foundation, differences are inevitable to arise in even the most naturally compatible of relationships, and those that are worth keeping tend to not let those differences come between them. A great relationship is one in which time spent by one person doing what they are passionate about is truly seen as as valuable to the other person as quality time together -even if that passion is experienced with someone else.
5. THE PAST IS THE PAST
If asked to explain one of our most cherished relationships most of us would quickly resort to a number of memorable moments to help paint the picture of how close the connection really is. As awesome as reliving the past can be, the best relationships tend to be those that stay within the present moment. This is particularly helpful for overcoming any challenges the two of you may have faced at one point in time. Rather than forever holding that against them, even if just quietly in the background of a seemingly now trouble-free connection, the choice to let the past go and be in the present allows both people to more fully enjoy everything that the other has to offer.
6. NO MIND GAMES
Particularly in the realm of romantic relationships, a lot of people love the thrill and uncertainty of trying to figure the other person out, often screwing up a number of times along the way. Despite this, the most valuable relationships tend to be ones that no longer feature any mind games. You both know who the other is, love them for being that way and able to each be yourself comfortably without the unnecessary mind chatter.
7. AN EXTENSION OF THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE
The best relationships are those in which both people see the relationship as an extension of the human experience and not the basis of their happiness. The more we rely on others to provide us fulfillment, the more we hold ourselves back from being truly independent, and ultimately the more pressure that the relationship has to operate within. It’s often when relationships are not being looked at to fill a particular void, or to make us feel a certain way, that most of the truest and most-valuable relationships are formed.
8. KNOWING THAT IT CAN END AT ANY TIME
This may sound like a particularly morbid way to end an otherwise lighthearted list, but I truly believe that the best relationships are ones in which both people recognize and are at peace with the fact that it could change, and possibly even end at any given time. This understanding, in my opinion and experience, paves the way for a freedom that ultimately makes a relationship of the deepest variety available. It’s not to say that every relationship must come to an end at some point, but this understanding gives it, and both people involved, the freedom to fully explore whatever it moulds itself into.
Source :
collective-evolution.com
Post by: jamesbond on September 04, 2014, 09:08:13 PM
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Post by: lovemarie on September 04, 2014, 09:36:05 PM
hmmm.... nice share mam loves... i must say it all depends on the meeting of the minds... i think maturity of both helps a lot... what you have shared were all true and correct, only, they were there as signs and we can only appreciate and compare them to our own relationships both on the past and on the present... in fact, we were not even aware on what signs we are in on our present relationships, as long as both parties are happy, we never care about this... compatibility, maturity, love, respect and happiness are for me the perfect combinations... nice thread you have here and i'm sure we can all relate to this when it comes to the matters of the heart... thanks...Thanks for dropping by sir james...you always have nice insights when it comes to love and relationships...dami ko lagi natutunan po sayo
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Post by: Ravendelle on September 05, 2014, 05:13:09 PM
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Post by: fayt on September 06, 2014, 04:47:58 PM
Quote
Relationships are a beautiful part of life
I simply say na hopeless romantic ang author neto... Hindi naman sa negative, but most 'beauty' of our lives will depend on how you live with it. It is how you survive with so many changes that happens in our life. It is how we embrace that the life can offer to us. And relationship does not offer these things. Relationship are somewhat 'support' in order for us to cope up with these things happening to us. Nandyan ang partner natin to support each other out. Our partners are there to help each other for us to grow and able to withstand the test of time and every that our life can offer. And the partner to keep is the partner that will stick with you even in the most hardship.
Hindi lang dahil sa naramdaman mong masaya ka sa kanya eh yun na ang good partner for life.... Dahil kahit anong saya mo dyan o kahit sabihin mong compatible ang pakiramamdam mo sa tao na yun... In the end, kung hindi lang sya magsstay sa iyo sa oras ng kagipitan, hindi rin sya ang taong masasabing mong "for keep".
Post by: lovemarie on September 06, 2014, 05:07:36 PM
Post by: fayt on September 06, 2014, 07:12:50 PM
^hmmm...sir fayt what makes a person stick with the one they love in times of "kagipitan"? Hindi ba dahil masaya sila sa kabila ng lahat? As you said embracing things that life has to offer...in a way it is being happy, contented and making the best of what your partner can offer..its just summing up what the author shared
agree naman ako sa sinasabing mong happiness... but it mistook somehow na happiness ang kailangan para sa relationship or qualifying parameter para masabi mong for keep ang isang tao. How come that they stay for particular partner for good? Well hindi lang po dahil sa happiness na nararamdaman ng isang tao, kundi sa tatag at hirap na naranasan nila pero nag stick sila together. Kahit anong away nila sa isat isa pero nandun pa rin ang respect nila sa sumpahan nila sa isat isa kaya sila nag sstick, etc. Hindi rin happiness ang bubuhay sa inyo for good at hindi rin happiness ang magdadala sa inyo sa sinasabi 'eternity'....
Common misconception to kaya nga maraming nasasaktan at marami din nabibiktima thinking na kung saan lang sila masaya yun na pwede nilang makasama pang habang buhay. Pag ba nakakita ka ng iba na nagpapasaya sayo dun ka na ba dapat sumama o yun na ba ang for keep? Nasasayang lang ang tao na most deserving at magsstay with us for good dahil sa sinasabing happiness na mararamdaman o nararamdaman sa isang tao.... We are just eluded by this false conception that happiness is the key for relationships...